Drunk Or Just A D*ckhead?

There isn’t a comedian on the planet who hasn’t had to deal with drunk hecklers and crowds – it’s almost part of the job. Although it shouldn’t be, you’re there to listen to the comedians jokes, not what the alcohol in someone’s brain is telling their mouth to blurt out. But regardless it happens.

Now, most of the time, it’s honestly no big deal. Many comedians can handle this situation. After all, we’re professionals. We’ve seen and experienced it all in comedy clubs; people passing out, fights, even people vomiting. That’s right – VOMITING! (Man, I’ve performed in some sh*tholes over the years!)

The truth is that many times, a drunk heckle can actually be fun and enjoyable and add to the night, leading the comedian to create an improvised moment of magic on the spot that is then appreciated by the audience. After this, the drunk heckler is put in their place, the audience are now fully behind the act on stage and the pleasant evening resumes. That’s what should happen… That’s a normal drunk audience member.

What shouldn’t happen it was went down at a gig of mine recently. There was an audience member who had consumed one or twenty too many beers and persisted with shouting out at the comedians on stage, even when the comedian was talking to another audience member – heckling an audience member? How desperate are you for attention??? If they weren’t heckling an audience member then they were shouting out trying to guess the comedians punchline, cos that’s what we all want at a comedy gig right? A drunk game of charades!

Not only did I feel sorry for all the acts and the comedy promoter, but also for the rest of the audience, and in particular, that heckler’s partner who was just sat beside them in silence with a face that said “This is why we don’t go out anywhere!” I mean, us comedians only had to deal with this drunkard for 20 or so minutes. You have to deal with this for the rest of your life. Good luck!

What I’m trying to say is, if you can’t handle your alcohol, or if you’re just a d*ckhead, stay at home. If you like the sound of your voice that much, talk into voice notes on your phone and listen back to yourself. I’m sure you’ll have a great time. But don’t come to a comedy club and spoil it for everyone else. You wouldn’t go to the cinema and jump in front of the screen to do your own interpretation of the movie would you? So unless the comedian talks directly to you, SHUT THE F*CK UP!

The next morning I received a message from the same heckler on social media, trying to almost justify their actions… “when I get some beers in me I can’t keep my gob shut hahaha”… Then maybe you should keep your front door shut at home and stay indoors.

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