So yesterday morning I woke up, showered, had my usual breakfast of porridge and a banana… You know, the gangsta shit! Then I took what I anticipated to be a journey full of noise to my local high street to pick up a few bits and bobs… But to my surprise, when walking down the street and through the park that I normally use as a shortcut, there wasn’t the off-putting noise that I had been anticipating.
I had been expecting numerous kids running around screaming their heads off, but there was nothing. Just a dog running after a stick (What do dogs see in that? I mean, it’s just a stick!).
Then I reached the High street and entered a few shops, again expecting the noise from some energetic foetuses running around screaming “Mummy, can I have this?!”… But to my surprise, nothing. What was going on? Am I in a real-life I Am Legend.
Then it hit me… I remembered the date… It’s the start of September… The brats – oops I mean kids – have gone back to school. You should’ve seen the smile that appeared on my face. You’ve never seen someone so happy to be in the bread section of a Tesco Metro!
I then went to a few more shops, not because I needed to go to them, but just to enjoy the tranquillity of the aisles that were chaotic just a week ago. Oh, it was delightful. I didn’t have to watch my step in case some kid ran frantically round the corner and bumped into my legs. There were no kids screaming down the whole place crying their eyes out (Why do kids feel the need to do that? What is so hard in their life that they need to cry like that? They don’t pay bills or tax! What do they know about agony???) The high street was calm. Just some elderly people… and me!
As I walked back home a song automatically started in my head, that went something like… “We’ve got our streets back! We’ve got our streets back! We’ve got our streets back!…” Ok, so not the most imaginative song, but well, what can I say? We’ve got our streets back! At least, until the end of October when the jabronis come back for half term.