People Say The Weirdest Things

So I’m at a hotel in York one morning. I’m at the breakfast buffet tucking into a full English – cos I’m a big boy with a healthy appetite, when out of nowhere this guy approaches me on the sly from behind like we’re doing a drug deal.

Now I have no problem with people approaching me who may have seen me at a gig or on TV etc… I’m a friendly person, I don’t bite. So please, do come and talk to me (unless you wanna tell me that you hate my comedy in which case, keep that stuff to yourself!). All I ask is that if you do came and talk to me, just talk to me like a normal person. Don’t do anything weird as you’ll just freak me out and end up in my jokes. This guy at the hotel breakfast in York being a prime example.

As I said, he approaches me from behind while I’m filling my plate up and his opening gambit is “Mate, I don’t want to alarm you, but you’re that comedian off the telly”… And that was it! I don’t want to alarm you? What, like I didn’t know? Like he was breaking news to me that I was a comedian. Like all these years I’ve been travelling round the country thinking I was a motivational speaker… The bizarre thing was, he didn’t even say anything after that opening line. He just stared at me.

In the end I didn’t know what to say so I just smiled politely as he patted me on the back and walked off.


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