FIFA Cold Turkey

January 3rd 2015. That was the last time I inserted the beauty that is the EA Sports FIFA disc into my Playstation… A long time. An even longer time for someone who loves FIFA as much as I do (When I say I love FIFA I mean the game, not the actual real-life organisation! The game is a beauty. The real-life organisation are just bellends!).

I LOVE the game! Probably more than sex. At least when you’re playing FIFA against the computer and performing badly you can just restart and pretend nothing happened and no one has to know! Right fellas? …Fellas? …Guys? ….Back me up dudes!!!

Anyway, I’ve decided to be really disciplined and leave FIFA, as if I get too into the game then  NOTHING else will get done, that includes, writing an Edinburgh show and various scripts that I’m working on. Boring? Hell yes! But it’s for my own good. If at the end of August I’ve had a successful run at the fringe then those long months of staring at the cold Playstation console and crying would’ve been worth it. So for now it means no Brentford in the Champions League (Stop laughing!) and no “N. Caton” banging in 30+ goals a season for the Bees! (I said stop laughing!).

So if you see me at a gig in these next few months, and you notice that I’m standing onstage with twitching fingers, you know why!

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