Ryan Giggs Did It!

I’m still shocked that Ryan Giggs has been named as the football player in the whole Imogen Thomas/super injunctions story. Jeez! Are there no innocent people left in the world? First Chris Brown goes Bobby Brown on Rihanna, now this!

He paid the courts thousands and thousands of pounds just to keep his name out of the news. And that’s got me thinking if he was so desperate to keep himself out of the news then who else has he been paying? I reckon he’s been paying a bunch of people to keep the attention away from him. Here’s what I think.

1. I reckon Ryan Giggs paid Wayne Rooney to go to a prostitute last year. He must’ve been like ‘Come on Wazza! I made at least 10 goals for you last year. Hook a brother up!’

2. I reckon Ryan Giggs paid Nick Clegg to be a tw*t for the last 12 months.

3. I reckon Ryan Giggs paid the US government to tell the world that Bin Laden is dead. He aint dead! He’s alive and well, probably having a party as we speak. While we’re in a false state of comfort he’s in a cave singing ‘I’ve been Southampton but I’ve never been to Scunthorpe!’

4. I reckon Ryan Giggs paid Ken Clarke to chat nonsense about rape.

5.

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